Not Quite a Clown Car
by Smarty Cat
Summary: [Oneshot Ficlet] It's time to head out on a field trip...if only the transportation wasn't so inadequate. FxO. KxK if you squint, cock your head, and think wishfully. ALL comments and criticisms are welcome.


**Disclaimer**: GTO: Great Teacher Onizuka is the creation of Tohru Fujisawa, serialized in Weekly Shounen Magazine published in Japan by Kodansha Ltd. with animation produced by Fuji Television, SME Visual Works, and Studio Pierrot, and is distributed in America exclusively under license by TokyoPop. I do not claim ownership to the characters contained herein.

This is anime based as the anime is all I'm really familiar with (I only have vols 18 and 19 of the manga though I do hope to change that), but this is what came to mind when the challenge was issued. This is my first time writing GTO, and I haven't watched it in a while so I had a wonderful time trying to remember how they all addressed each other. There's definitely room for improvement, but hopefully it's not too horrible.

**Title**: Not Quite a Clown Car...  
**Author**: Smarty Cat  
**Genre**: general, humor, romance  
**Pairings**: Fuyutsuki x Onizuka, vaguely implied Kanzaki x Kikuchi  
**Date Completed**: July 24, 2004  
**Word count**: 789 (I'm bad with limits)

Fuyutsuki Azusa, first year teacher, stared ahead with thinly veiled misgiving compounded by dawning horror.

This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.

"Yoshikawa!" The familiar roar of her fellow first year teacher filled the air, and she watched one of the shorter and more punctual male students startle as a large, bleached blonde figure appeared beside him and clapped his back so hard that he stumbled forward several steps. "So you want to be the first to give our Love Mobile a little test drive, eh? Still have to break her in, and you've got some breaking in of your own to do, right?" the taller figure leered.

Forget bad. This was a horrible idea.

"Onizuka-sensei," she enunciated clearly while striding forward to stand between them. Onizuka stiffened at her tone and use of his title. Good. He knew she wasn't pleased.

He smiled appeasingly. "Fuyutsuki-chan-"

"He's being tactless and lecherous again, isn't he?" a leggy young blonde with mismatched eyes purred, scuffing her foot against the ground in such as way that her uniform skirt flared up and revealed rather more skin than was appropriate. Onizuka's eyes focused on it immediately. "Yet he wonders why no woman would have him?" Kanzaki's disconcerting gaze slipped to the side as she stepped away from the puddle of drool forming just in front of her right foot as she cooed, "Isn't that right, Fuyutsuki-sensei?"

Being a certified genius certainly did make a girl far too clever for her own good. Fuyutsuki smiled stiffly.

The young man accompanying Kanzaki pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "I thought we were taking a bus."

Onizuka shrugged. "I couldn't get a bus. So Ryuji agreed to loan me the Love Mobile. You don't have to pay for it so shut up."

Fuyutsuki's eyes narrowed. "He doesn't have a van. You didn't 'borrow' this from someone, did you?"

Onizuka threw himself to the pavement in front of her and clutched her waist. "You really think so lowly of me, Fuyutsuki-chan?"

She hated it when he did that, when he looked at her with those eyes. And though she knew it was an act because he could do it on cue, true hurt did lurk behind it. Everything about him, the way he looked, the way he talked, the way he acted, made him appear less than reputable. The way he was subtly nuzzling his way up her stomach to her breasts didn't help at all either.

"Pig."

He turned his head oinking defiantly (or was that obediently?) at Kanzaki's muttered remark, and Fuyutsuki used the opportunity to slip out of his grasp. Onizuka, deprived of his support, crashed onto the asphalt face first.

She tapped her feet mere centimeters from his head. "You still haven't said where it came from."

"We're scheduled to leave in two minutes. Does that matter quite as much as how we're all going to fit in it?" Kikuchi asked, his glasses flashing in the sunlight as he studied the garishly painted family van.

Family van. Not large-enough-for-a-class-fieldtrip van.

Fuyutsuki glanced at the group of milling teenagers behind her. There was no way.

"We'll have to cancel it."

She stifled a shriek as a large hand closed around her ankle. "Laps," Onizuka hissed, pulling himself up her leg, his face red and interestingly textured from its commune with the parking lot. Add in the flared nostrils, twisted lips, and bulging eyes, and he was quite frightening. "No canceling. Use laps."

"You want the students to sit on each other? You can't be serious!"

She said that a bit louder than she had intended. The students looked at each other, shrugged, and started filing inside boys first. The girls filed in afterwards, and the van rocked for a few seconds as they settled themselves amongst complaints and curses.

Fuyutsuki stared.

"Fuyutsuki-sensei, are you coming?"

She was startled to realize that Onizuka had left her side and was already perched in the driver's seat. It was Vice Principal Uchiyamada who had spoken to her, however.

She could feel a nerve in her face twitching, but she climbed on anyway. It was exactly as she had expected. They had saved her a seat. The Vice Principal's lap was empty, and he was smiling. The Vice Principal who had rubbed up against her on the train the day she interviewed, but who had since proven to not be quite so bad.

Still...

She could feel Onizuka's eyes on her. He might not be the lesser of two evils, but given the choice she had the feeling she'd choose him every time.

"Will you still be able to drive?"

He smiled and extended his hand. "I'll give you one hell of a ride."


End file.
